On Monday, we had a long chat about how my goal for this year was living with intentionality, and how I really wanted to zero in on the most important aspects of life so that I can live wisely. My first focus, and the most important one is my relationship with Jesus.
We’ve had our ups and downs. I guess I should rephrase that: He’s always upheld His end, but I’ve had some downs. Life’s not a bowl of cherries, and I’m not saying that it should be, but it sure would be a lot more comfortable. Less sanctifying, but much easier.
You might know that I was raised in by Christian parents and went to church my whole life, so I’m not unfamiliar with Christianese and the “right” responses and even the top 5 methods for studying the Bible. I am even nerdy enough to really enjoy learning about the Greek root of any particular word in any New Testament passage, and I salivate over learning more about the Jewish and Greek customs and their bearing on Scriptural passages. I love learning more about the geography and infrastructure of the towns addressed in the Paulene letters and the 7 churches of Revelation, and I’ve walked the crest of Masada and scraped my feet on the mineral encrusted shores of the Dead Sea. Wading through Hezekiah’s tunnel? Oh yeah. Check that one off my bucket list.
But getting up close and personal and vulnerable? That, I don’t do well. I’d rather spend a thousand hours studying, serving, doing…than spend 5 minutes baring my heart. Which is why getting intentional with Jesus this year means stepping way out of my comfort zone and focusing on building a deep, personal relationship with Him.
Less study. More prayer. Less head stuff. More messy heart stuff. Less deep study, more easy reading. (More on that momentarily!)
I’ll be honest: half of me is absolutely beside myself with excitement, and the other half of me wants to run and hide. Do you ever get that way? Don’t leave me alone up here!
Scared as I am, I don’t want to stay this way. I need to grow and learn and trust Him with my heart as well as my head. To that end, I’m really excited about some books I have lined up for 2016.
For The Love by Jen Hatmaker. I watched one of her YouTube videos about yoga pants, and I laughed so hard I was crying. One of my BFF’s highly recommended the book, too, so I’m stoked to read it.
Anything by Jennie Allen. It’s been on my want-to-read list for several years now, and I think that 2016 is the year it’s going to finally happen!
Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet by Sara Hagerty. There have been so many recommendations for this one that I just had to grab it. Plus, it’s an intriguing title, no?
Say Goodbye To Survival Mode by Crystal Paine. What’s not to love about that, right? I’ve just started it, but the funny thing is, I had already sort of started several of her action steps already (and am noticing a vast improvement in how things are going around the old homestead!) I can’t wait to finish this one and put to practice all the advice she has to offer. So, this last one isn’t exactly focused on my relationship with Jesus, but a more organized life gives me room to exhale and build in the time that I need to focus in on my top priorities.
What’s up with you and Jesus this year? Where are you strong, and where do you need to grow?
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