Whatever You Do, Don’t Teach Your Kids The Bible!

Kids that are taught the Bible are nuisances.

They dilute the toxicity of the culture.  They have a spark, a zest, a certain resilience and wisdom that feels like splinters under the fingernails of darker forces.  They don’t cave to peer pressure as easily.  They have a balance and intuitive navigation that is beyond their years and experience.

So don’t, whatever you do, teach your kids the Bible.

Here’s a few practical tips (you’ll be relieved at how easy they are!)

  1. Trick them into being bored with it.  The best way to do this is to model boredom in your own life.  Drag out your Bible for church only, and make sure they know that it holds little interest for you.  Sigh a little, if you can.  Fidget during the sermon, checking your watch a few times.  Then put that dangerous book back on the shelf till next week.  Of course, you don’t have to try too hard – kids are smart, and they will pick up easily on your disinterest.
  2. Make them hate it.  There are many effective strategies for implementing this one.  I will highlight a few of the most successful plans, but feel free to get creative on this one.  There are lots of ways to grow hate and mistrust of God and the Bible, but they all boil down to one key point: make them associate people’s sin and weakness with Scripture.

I’m thrilled to be over at iBelieve.com today diving in to this topic (very tongue-in-cheek!) Please join the conversation!

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